


Tending the Flowers

by juliet_lili



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 15:12:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19748293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juliet_lili/pseuds/juliet_lili
Summary: Grizz has been tending the flowers. However, some things he can't love back to health.A few Grizz and Sam moments that I had in my head.





	1. The Flowers

Grizz had been tending the flowers.  
For six months, without help or prompting, he had been weeding, watering, pruning and coaxing the delicate little buds to life. He wasn’t really sure why he did it - it just felt like something that needed doing. The flowers might not serve a useful purpose, but they made him feel something. They were beautiful, and a part of Grizz knew that that was enough.  
He’d been back from the expedition two weeks. The shock of Allie’s blood dribbling down her face still hit him every time he walked through town. His friend, the only person who had been able to step up and face the reality of this new place. He’d grown to see her as fierce, but in that moment, her pale face beneath a black beanie, she was vulnerable, a seventeen year old girl afraid of the school bullies.  
Except now, they weren’t just pushing people around and spreading rumours through the school hallways. Lexie and Harry controlled the town, decided who did what and when. They decided, quite literally, who would live, and who would die. The thought turned his stomach. Grizz had moved back into his family home, isolated on the outskirts of town. He’d spent days obsessively cleaning, drawing maps and diagrams to the land they had found. Wondering how they were going to survive.  
Today was different. Something was tugging at his heart. The pain of loss was bubbling up inside him, threatening to overflow as it had been since the buses had dropped them here. So, he walked to the one place he could think of where life was beautiful and simple. He walked to the gardens out behind the library, where his flowers grew.  
Caught up in his thoughts, Grizz didn’t hear the heavy breaths coming from the garden beds. He didn’t notice the footprints pressed into the muddy ground. He threw the shade cloth covering back.  
“Sam?! What the fuck?” Beneath the cloth, Sam was lying in the flower garden. Frozen weeds and dying buds were spread out beneath him. The boy looked up.  
The last time he had seen Sam, his blue eyes had been clear, tears leaking silently from their corners. Now, lying in the garden bed, Sam’s eyes registered Grizz without comment, settling on Grizz for a moment before turning their stormy gaze back up to the clouds. No tears, but no light either. Something was wrong.  
“Sam? What are you doing?” Grizz tried again. Sam wasn’t looking, couldn’t read the words tumbling from his lips. Grizz felt every ounce of anger and hurt seep from his body as he nudged Sam gently. He leant over him slightly and signed.  
_Sam. What are you doing?_ The words still felt clumsy in his hands. Sam registered them, his own hands rising from hist stomach and drawing pictures that Grizz couldn’t quite make out. He touched Sam’s shoulder again.  
_Slow down._  
Sam looked at him properly for the first time. Grizz felt his eyes boring into his chest, measuring his worth. Sam’s hands moved slowly and deliberately this time. _I don’t want to be here anymore._  
For a moment, Grizz stood confused. “Then hop up. Go home.” But even as he spoke, a part of his heart started to shatter. This wasn’t about the gardens.  
_On this Earth. Living._ Sam spoke the last word quietly as he signed it. Grizz’s hands went to his head, raking through his hair. Even before, Sam had always been full of life. A strong steady present in the back of the room, signing his sass to Becca and offering up sardonic grins whenever he made eye contact. Those grins had squeezed the air from Grizz’s lungs. They’d been his first indication that he needed to stay away from Sam, needed to squash the feelings sweeping through his body.  
The boy in front of him barely resembled the person he’d trained his mind to avoid for so long.  
This wasn’t the same boy in front of him. Sam’s body was long and thin, his hands and face pale against the rich soil. He was shivering, and Grizz noticed that there were new angles to his body. Angles that hadn’t been there the last time… He shoved the thought from his head.  
_Why?_ Grizz was glad that his hands couldn’t betray his heart the way a crack in his voice surely would have. Tears had started to slide down Sam’s face and after a few seconds Grizz broke, reaching out to wipe them from his face. He pulled Sam up into a sitting positioning knelt down.  
_Why?_ His hands shook.  
“I don’t know what to do. Allie is gone. Cassandra is gone. Campbell is in charge. He’ll ruin everyone. It’s not just my life he can fuck with anymore. It’s everyones. I don’t know what I’m doing. He won’t let me go home. Won’t let me get any of my things, or any photos of us and mum and dad. He won’t even let me get my tablets.” Sam gulped.  
“Tablets?”  
“Medication.” Sam’s voice was soft. Grizz’s heart plummeted.  
“He’s stopping you from getting your medication? For how long now?! This whole time?!” Grizz’s voice rose with anger. Sam swallowed.  
“I weaned myself off of them at the start. I figured that I couldn’t keep relying on them. But it’s creeping back. I can feel it, under my skin.” Sam looked up at Grizz in desperation. He couldn’t take it any longer. Grizz reached out and took his face in his hands.  
“Sam. What’s the medication for?”  
_D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-O-N_ Sam finger spelled the word slowly, trying to convince himself that this wasn’t some dirty secret. He’d never expressly hid it. It just wasn’t something people knew, particularly when they didn’t, or couldn’t, communicate with him. Becca knew and had been supportive in his rough patches. But here in this new world, he didn’t know how to reach out to her. He didn’t know how to explain that despite everything changing, the sluggish feeling creeping through his veins was back.  
Grizz took a moment to take him in. He hadn’t seen Sam properly since the goodbye. Around town he had looked hurried and tired, a sight Grizz had attributed to life with a newborn. He hadn’t thought anything of the pain in Sams gaze, the mindless working of his fingers when his brain was working overtime. He pulled Sam forward into his arms.  
“I came to look at the flowers. After we got dropped here. I would come and look and they gave me hope. But then they started dying. And it felt like all the hope was gone. You were gone.” Sam’s voice cracked as he broke into sobs, body shivering against Grizz. He was wearing only a button down and jeans. Grizz shrugged out of his puffer jacket, wrapping it around Sam’s frame. A part of him smiled at the image - Sam wrapped in something of Grizz’s, swallowed by the size and warmth. An image he had dreamed of in their other lives.  
You liked the flowers?  
Yes. Sam watched Grizz warily.  
“A garden and a library.” Grizz murmured. The two places he was truly comfortable.  
“Cicero.” Grizz looked at Sam in surprise, shocked that he had remembered.  
“Yeah.” Grizz watched him for a moment. “Eden right? That’s the baby’s name?”

Sam looked down at the mention of his family. Becca had started to notice his slide in the last few days. Settling into a routine with the baby had finally allowed her to see the pain Sam was hiding in his soul. The night before, she had asked him. He had told her, about Grizz and thanksgiving, about Grizz’s pain and the way he had left. About the loss of his family, and the family he had left in this new place. Becca cried with him. And then flicked his ear.  
“You’re an asshole.” Sam looked at her in fear, afraid he’d hurt the only person he felt he had left. The only person who had ever truly tried to work out who he was. “Why didn’t you just tell me? We could have worked this out. I wouldn’t have told everyone you were her dad-”  
“NO!” Sam yelled, standing abruptly. “I am her dad. She’s mine!” Becca looked at him in shock. His face was red, tears and snot dribbling down it.  
“That’s not what I meant,” Her voice was gentle, “Of course you’re her dad. From the moment you held her, you were her dad.” She looked at him, pleading for him to understand. This was their family. She loved him, so much so that she wanted him to be happy even if it meant braving the ridicule she knew would come when people found out who the father really was. “I just want you to be happy. Tell him. Tell him and tell him if he tells anyone else I’ll kill him.” A watery smile played across her face. Sam knew she was only half joking.  
“I am her father.” He was nothing if not stubborn. Sam’s heart had been filled with a kind of love he had never felt before the moment he had held Eden. No words could describe the way he felt for her.  
“And you always will be. But you will also always be gay. We can’t hide that from her, or from anyone else. So tell him. You’ll always be her dad. But he deserves to know. Because one day, she will know too. Love.” Sam looked at her, the support clear on her face, and felt his heart continue to break.

“Yes. Eden.”  
_Beautiful._  
“Grizz…” Sam wasn’t sure what to do. How to say what he wanted, needed to say. In the pause, Grizz’s face closed off.  
“I get it. They’re your family.” Grizz stood, heart shattering as he wiped his nose against his sleeve. Sam was a good guy. Which meant family had to come first. “Look, I’ll find a way to get you some of that medication okay? If things are getting bad, better you have it and we work out a solution from there.” He stood and turned to walk away.  
Some flowers weren’t his to tend. Sam would never, could never be his.


	2. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Becca is worried. Sam isn't home, and she doesn't know who else to call. 
> 
> Warning for mention of non-consensual sex, along with a mention of abortion (both very brief though).

His phone buzzed for the fifth time under his pillow. With a sigh of resignation, Grizz pulled it out, watching an unknown number flash across the screen.

“Hello?”

“Grizz?” His heart jumped out of his chest at the sound of Becca’s voice.

“Oh. Um hi Becca. Look now isn’t really a great time-”

“Have you seen Sam?” Becca cut him off.

“Yeah? I saw him earlier this morning. Why are you calling me about this?” Fear had already started to bubble in Grizz’s stomach. He checked his watch. 11.43PM.

“He hasn’t come home all day. Last night, he… he got really upset. He told me about what happened on thanksgiving. About you and him, and how things had ended…” Becca’s voice trailed off and Grizz could feel the apprehension through the line. She knew. Becca knew they had been together. Knew that he was gay. Knew that he had come between her and Sam.

“Look Becca I’m really sorry. I didn’t know about you and Sam. I didn’t know about the baby, I never would have tried to-”Grizz’s words started to tumble over themselves as he tried to explain, tried to apologise to the one person in this town who had the most to deal with.

“Grizz it’s fine. He didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

Silence.

“Becca?”

“We need to find him. Eden’s sleeping, I don’t want to leave her alone. He’s not well Grizz. He’s not coping.” Her voice broke. Grizz pulled himself out of bed, pulling on a pair of tracksuit pants with the phone wedged between his ear and shoulder.

“Yeah. I’ll go look. You stay there in case he comes home. I’ll call if there’s any news. And Becca?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry.” He hung up before she could argue, pulling his hair up out of his face as he stomped into his boots. The temperature had continued to drop and as he turned to lock the door, Grizz could see his breath clouding in front of his face. Curfew had been lifted in the weeks since Lexie and Harry had taken charge, but Grizz had seen them patrolling the streets. Lexie and Harry weren’t leaders, but they also weren’t stupid. The streets weren’t policed for late night wanderers, but Grizz knew they still watched. Luke had hurried past a few times.Jason and Clarke more. Even Campbell once. They knew he wasn’t happy, knew he didn’t believe the bullshit about Allie and Will. They were making sure no one was out plotting in the dark, looking for the hidden captives.

He stuck to the shadows, running quietly through the town and back to the library. He tore back the shade cloth for the second time that day, and sure enough, a pale face and long body greeted him.

“Sam?” The boy’s eyes were shut. Grizz reached out with a gloved hand, tapping his cheek. Slowly, Sam’s eyes opened. He was lying as he had been before, curled in amongst the weeds and dead flower bushes. Grizz noted offhandedly that the jacket he had left was gone, and Sam was once again lying in the cold, shivering.

“Sam what are you doing?!” Grizz yelled. But it was dark, and the deaf boy couldn’t see. He couldn’t see the fear on Grizz’s face, or the shape of his mouth as he yelled. He could just make out the silhouette he had been dreaming of, a tall man with hair in a bunch at the top of his head. He was cold. So cold. Briefly, he had thought about moving, about going home or to church or anywhere other than here. But really, he couldn’t see a point. The only place he wanted to be was here, amongst the dead flowers that reminded him of Grizz and home and the lives they had left behind.

Grizz fired off a message to Becca.

‘I have him. We’re coming.’ He slid his phone back into his pocket and then his arms beneath Sam, lifting him towards his chest. Finally Sam moved, struggling against him. Fresh pain cut through Grizz’s chest as Sam tried to escape his hold and he squeezed him tighter. Eventually, Sam stopped, and they walked quietly through the town.

Becca heard her front door bang open and shot to her feet. In the entryway stood Grizz, face red from the cold. He looked tired, eyes dull and shoulders hunched. In his arms, Sam looked small. Her best friend was lying with his eyes open, staring at nothing, the rise and fall of his chest the only indication that he was alive.

“We need to warm him up.” Grizz murmured, and Becca sprang into action. She ran about the house, tearing blankets from beds and struggling through closets in search of hot water bottles. Grizz walked into the living room and set Sam on his feet. Slowly, gently, he pulled the dirt smeared jeans from Sam’s legs. Becca passed the door way, about to deliver her second haul of blankets when she stopped. Grizz’s hands were tender against Sam, carefully peeling the damp clothes from his body and then wrapping him in the throw from the couch. She averted her eyes, leaving the blankets in the doorway as she went to brew some tea.

Soon, Sam was smothered in blankets and a hot water bottle, his shivers slowing down to barely noticeable tremors. Of course, the two people opposite him noticed. For longer than he realised, they had both noticed everything about him. They had seen his beauty and his pain, the way he closed his eyes against heartache. The way he fiddled with the cuffs of his jumper when he was nervous. The kindness beneath the sarcasm. They had seen him, in a way he had barely seen himself. As a person, vulnerable, real and worthy.

“Love? What happened?” She spoke and signed, already assuming the role of interpreter between the two awkward men. A sigh escaped Sam’s lips.

_It’s just more of the same. I was okay for a while. But I see him there with them you know? Campbell. He’s behind this. He’s taken away the last semblance of family I had in this place. He’s spent so long ruining my life. Now he’s going to ruin everything else. How am I supposed to protect Eden from him?_

Grizz watched Becca’s face crack as she relayed Sam’s signs. They were too fast for him to follow, too many words he didn’t recognise, but she followed with ease. Her voice remained steady as tears wet her face.

“I’m scared for Eden too. But we are her parents. We will do anything for her.” Becca’s eyes were focussed on Sam.

“You guys aren’t in this alone,” Grizz’s voice startled Becca and she signed his words for Sam. “I will protect her too. That’s a promise.” The conviction he felt surprised himself. He noticed Sam’s eyes flick to him, then Becca and away.

“You didn’t tell him, did you?” Becca was talking just to Sam, who shook his head almost imperceptibly.

“Grizz. There’s something I want to tell you.” Sam’s hands flew into action, his head furiously shaking Whatever it was, Sam did not want this said.

“No. Becca.” Sam’s voice was desperate.

“For God’s sake Sam! Stop! Grizz. Sam is Eden’s dad. Nothing will ever change that,” She paused to try to catch Sam’s eye, “But you need to know that Sam and I have never slept together. We are just friends. We have always been just friends. Do you understand what I am saying?”

Sam jumped from his seat, an unreadable pain across his features as he tried to run from the room.

“Sam. Sam stop.” Grizz’s arms flew around Sam, holding him while he struggled. He was so focussed on clinging to the crying boy, it took him a full minute to comprehend what Becca was saying. He froze.

“Wait. You guys haven’t? How did Eden..” And it clicked. It hadn’t made sense to him on Thanksgiving, that Sam hadn’t mentioned the baby. Hadn’t mentioned Becca at all. Sam wasn’t that man. He wasn’t a kiss and run kind of guy.

“Sam. Sam,” Grizz held him out just far enough to catch his eye, and the struggle stopped. “Explain to me.”

Sam looked up at him. If you’d asked him a year ago about this boy in front of him, he would have laughed. He was cute sure, but Sam had doubted Grizz had any real substance. However, the past six months had taught Sam that no one was quite what they seemed. “I made a promise.”

Grizz pulled him down onto the sofa. Becca saw the comfort Sam was taking just from Grizz’s touch.

“Sam doesn’t know who the biological father of the baby is. No one does. Only I do. I was scared of what people would think of me. And Sam promised me that he would be the father. And he is. For all intents and purposes, and for the rest of her life, Sam is Eden’s dad. But he wasn’t the man who conceived her with me.

I said to Sam at the start that I never had a choice in being a mother. And I meant that. If we were back at home, I don’t think I would have had Eden. But I also meant, that even at the start, there was no choice. I didn’t get to say yes or no.” Becca’s hands stopped signing before the last sentence. She didn’t want to break Sam even further, didn’t want to add further to the burdens he was carrying around.

This time, Grizz wasn’t slow on understanding. “Oh god Becca. Oh shit. I’m so sorry.”

They didn’t expect Sam to speak.“Becca, I know.” His words cut through the silence. “It was him.” His hand formed a C and Becca paled.

“How-”

“She looks just like he did as a baby. And I’ve seen the way you look at him. You aren’t afraid of anyone. Of anything. Except him.” Becca’s shoulders slumped. “He saw me today. At the gardens. He knows too. He’s not stupid. Saw the pictures of Eden on Allie’s phone. He took your jumper,” He looked at Grizz, “He’ll work out who you are. What we were. Watch your back.”

Grizz could see Sam spiralling out of control, the depression of earlier in the day replaced by something Grizz had never seen on Sam before. He sat there, helpless as both Becca and Sam fell into their own personal hells.

“It’s over. It’s done. And when we get back. If we ever get back,” Her voice cracked, “I’ll make sure he gets justice.” Becca’s chin tilted upwards, stubbornness etched across her features. Not for the first time, Grizz was amazed by the strength such a small woman possessed. Becca was kind and gentle, but she was not fragile. He offered her his hand before turning to Sam.


End file.
